fast, day 2

I just finished drinking my carrot, apple, kale, and blackberry juice. It actually tasted kind of good. It was mostly nice just to ingest something thicker than water. The hunger is there, but I don't feel ravenous.

I'm continually annoyed by well-meaning people trying to talk me out of fasting. My friend Brian warned me about this. Why should anyone care whether I do it or not? No one's ever tried to talk me out of scarfing down a greasy cheeseburger, so now that I'm detoxifying my body, seeking a greater spiritual connection with my Creator, and undergoing a trial of self-discipline, that's a problem? What the hell?! Another reason to be as vague as possible about the fast to people who are only acquaintances.

At lunch I wandered over to the Monument Starbucks to get a cup of (decaf) red tea and sit and have a quiet time. I brought with me my Bible and Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. I read the devotional for today, January 2. It never ceases to amaze me how God always gives me the message I need exactly when I need it, whether I read it in scripture or hear it in a sermon:

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Continually examine your attitude toward God to see if you are willing to "go out" in every area of your life, trusting in God entirely. It is this attitude that keeps you in constant wonder, because you don’t know what God is going to do next. Each morning as you wake, there is a new opportunity to "go out," building your confidence in God.

Have you been asking God what He is going to do? He will never tell you. God does not tell you what He is going to do— He reveals to you who He is. Do you believe in a miracle-working God, and will you "go out" in complete surrender to Him until you are not surprised one iota by anything He does?

Believe God is always the God you know Him to be when you are nearest to Him. Then think how unnecessary and disrespectful worry is! Let the attitude of your life be a continual willingness to "go out" in dependence upon God, and your life will have a sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is very satisfying to Jesus. You must learn to "go out" through your convictions, creeds, or experiences until you come to the point in your faith where there is nothing between yourself and God. (emphasis mine).

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There are so many things between me and God. I hope that during the rest of this fast I can push those things aside.